MAKING FEEDBACK COUNT

Something that strikes fear in the hearts of many managers and directors is giving tough feedback. Most managers/directors feel a real loyalty to their teams and dedication to their present and future success and no one wants their team members and direct reports to feel as if they aren’t being supported Because of this, giving tough feedback is often avoided or watered down so the team member won’t feel discouraged.

In fact, you are doing both of you a big favor by giving this feedback as it offers both of you a chance to learn and grow – if the feedback is skillfully delivered.

Managers often tell me that they’re surprised when a month or so after a feedback session the employee is still not up to speed. They tell me, “They understood the feedback in the meeting.” When I ask how they know that they will tell me that the person nodded their head or said “okay, got it” or smiled. This type of response often does not represent understanding so much as it speaks to the person shutting down. The feedback may have been heard but not absorbed.

A primary reason for this dynamic is the way the feedback was presented. How you give feedback is often the determining factor to whether the employee actually takes the feedback in and integrates it into their way of working.

A feedback meeting should not be a one-sided lecture. It should be a conversation.

Be clear and organized with your talking points, yes, but don’t shove them at the team member. Incorporate them into the conversation about the team members’ performance.

A good idea is to begin the session with a question, such as, “How have you been feeling about your work on project X,” or “what areas of your job performance are you particularly proud of, and “How could you bring all areas of your performance to that level.” And then LISTEN. Their responses will tell you where they are in their awareness of their performance. This will help you tailor your delivery to them, as they are at the present moment, and give you the opportunity to incorporate one or more of your talking points into your response in a way that will be received, not rejected. Again, this is a conversation between two individuals, not a generic diatribe.

And by listening, I mean true active listening. I coach extensively on the topic of active listening and find that it is a skill that breaks highly developed and successful leaders out of the pack. To listen with as much energy as invest in your speaking is counter to the way many of us listen in our daily lives where we listen until we hear enough to respond and spend the rest of the time formulating that response. Active listening requires you to slow down, concentrate and truly take in what is being communicated through all the sense gates.

You will find that your clarity of their position and the specificity of your response will increase the more you let them speak and the more that you actively listen. Use your talking points to suggest ways for them to improve so that all their skills are at the highest level.

To be clear, I am not suggesting coddling or minimizing a real problem. And yes, you are not responsible for learning about and accommodating all of the employee’s emotional history. However, you do inherit much of it, and you as the manager, need to be flexible and attentive enough to adapt your talking points so they are received and incorporated.

Including the team member in the broader scope of the organization can also be a helpful way to communicate feedback. Your scope is naturally wider and letting the team member know that it’s important to hear and incorporate the feedback as it will have an effect on the bigger picture of the department and the entire organization. When people have a scope that is narrowed around the task of moving projects forward on a day-to-day basis, they can often lose sight of how important their contributions are to the overall success of the organization. Being included in a bigger picture can be a huge motivator and can encourage the person not just to correct a mistake, but to move the needle in a meaningful way.

The final step is setting up an accountability structure. Summarize the conversation and align and anchor yourselves on expectations for the future. Based on the degree of receptivity and the potential tasks the person may take on the improve, schedule check-ins so they know they are being supported. Also set a time in the future when you will next formally discuss their fulfillment of the expectations. Finally, let them know that you are invested in their improvement and in their future success and that you are there to help.

Beware the smile and the nod! Feedback only works when the employee takes it in and incorporates it into their job performance.